Supporting Your Child through ‘Tough Times’: Helping Kids Open Up About Their Feelings

Children and young adults often face emotional challenges, but they may not always feel comfortable expressing their worries. They might fear being judged, worry about burdening others, or simply struggle to find the right words to describe how they feel. Whether it’s stress from school, friendship troubles, or deeper emotional struggles, parents play a crucial role in helping kids navigate their feelings.

If your child seems withdrawn, anxious, or reluctant to talk, here are some practical ways to create a safe space for open conversations and emotional support.

Create a Safe and Non-Judgmental Environment

Children are more likely to share their feelings when they feel secure and understood. Let them know that their emotions are valid and that you’re always there to listen, without judgment or immediate solutions.

• Instead of asking direct, pressuring questions, try making observations: “I noticed you’ve been quieter than usual. I’m here if you want to talk.”
• Avoid dismissing their worries with statements like “It’s not a big deal” or “You’ll be fine.” Instead, acknowledge their emotions and validate their experiences.

Encourage Open-Ended Conversations

Sometimes, children shut down when they feel interrogated. Instead of yes/no questions, try open-ended prompts that allow them to express themselves more freely:

• “What was the best and hardest part of your day?”
• “I know school has been stressful lately. What’s been on your mind?”
• “If you had a magic wand, what’s one thing you would change about today?”

These kinds of questions encourage reflection without making kids feel pressured to answer in a certain way.

Be Present and Available

Children often open up at unexpected times, during a car ride, while doing an activity, or right before bedtime. By being present and available in these moments, you create opportunities for natural conversations and provide a sense of ease that encourages them to express their feelings without pressure.

• Engage in shared activities like drawing, cooking, or playing a game, which can make conversations feel less intense.
• Pay attention to their body language, sometimes, nonverbal cues can indicate they need support even when they don’t say it outright.

Model Healthy Emotional Expression and Be a Role Model

Children learn how to handle emotions by watching their parents. If you express your feelings in a healthy way, they will feel more comfortable doing the same. Parents who model emotional awareness and regulation show their children that all emotions, including difficult ones, are normal and manageable.

Expressing Your Own Feelings in a Healthy Way

Rather than hiding emotions or reacting impulsively, try to verbalize your feelings in a constructive way:

• Instead of yelling when frustrated, say: “I’m feeling really overwhelmed right now, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths before we talk about this.”
• Instead of shutting down when sad, share: “I had a tough day at work, so I’m feeling a little down. I think going for a walk will help me feel better.”
• When anxious, model self-care strategies: “I’m feeling a little stressed about something, so I’m going to write in my journal for a bit.”

By naming your emotions and demonstrating healthy coping techniques, you show your child that difficult feelings are not something to fear or suppress.

Dealing with Conflict Calmly

Children also learn from how parents handle conflict, whether with them, a partner, or others. If they see adults responding with anger or avoidance, they may mimic those behaviors. Instead, try to:

• Take a pause before responding in anger (“I need a moment to cool down before we talk about this.”)
• Use “I” statements instead of blame (“I feel hurt when...” instead of “You always...”)
• Show problem-solving skills (“Let’s figure out a way to fix this together.”)

When children witness calm, respectful conflict resolution, they develop healthier ways of handling disagreements.

Apologizing and Showing Self-Compassion

No parent is perfect, and sometimes emotions get the best of us. One of the most powerful ways to model emotional maturity is by acknowledging mistakes:

• “I was really frustrated earlier, and I raised my voice. I’m sorry. Next time, I’ll take a deep breath before responding.”
• “I made a mistake, and that’s okay. Everyone does. I’m going to learn from it and try again.”

This teaches kids that it’s okay to be imperfect and that growth comes from reflection and self-compassion.

Encouraging Emotional Expression in Daily Life

Make talking about feelings a normal part of everyday conversations:

• Share a daily “high and low” at the dinner table.
• Talk about emotions in movies or books (“How do you think that character felt?”).
• Let them see you practicing self-care, whether it’s journaling, meditating, or simply taking a break when needed.

By being open about emotions and demonstrating healthy ways to process them, you help your child feel more confident in expressing their own feelings.

Help Them Name Their Feelings

Young children especially may struggle with identifying and labeling their emotions. You can help them by putting words to their feelings:

• “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated because your friend didn’t listen to you.”
• “You seem a little quiet today. Are you feeling worried about something?”

Using a “feelings chart” or books about emotions can also help younger kids develop emotional awareness.

Teach Coping Strategies

Teaching simple coping techniques can empower kids to manage emotions in a healthy way:

• Deep breathing exercises (“Let’s take three deep breaths together.”)
• Journaling or drawing their emotions
• Physical activities like stretching, dancing, or running to release tension
• Creating a “calm-down” corner with comforting items like a favorite book or soft blanket

Know When to Seek Professional Support

If your child’s distress persists, affects their daily life, or leads to changes in behavior, it may be helpful to seek professional support.

Final Thoughts

Supporting your child through tough times requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to listen. By fostering open communication, modeling healthy emotional expression, and providing a safe environment, you can help your child navigate their challenges with confidence.

Even if they don’t always open up right away, knowing you’re there for them makes all the difference. Start by implementing small changes today, whether it’s modeling emotional expression, creating open conversations, or simply being present. And if your child continues to struggle, don’t hesitate to seek professional support to ensure they receive the help they need.