The Two Wolves within Us All

— a popular modern fable often misattributed to Cherokee tradition

“A fight is going on inside me,” an old man said to his grandson. “It is a terrible fight between two wolves.

One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

The same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a moment and then asked, “Which wolf will win?”

The old man replied, “The one you feed.”

We may not be able to trace this story back to its true origin, but the message it carries has echoed in many hearts. It's simple, and profoundly true: there are opposing forces within all of us. Joy and Pain. Love and Resentment. Calm and Chaos.

If you’ve ever felt torn between two emotional currents—one lifting you up, the other pulling you down, you’re not alone. These internal struggles are part of being human. The real question is not whether we have them, but which part of ourselves we choose to nurture.

In this article, we’ll explore what it means to “feed the right wolf” - how self-awareness, compassion, and emotional regulation can help us better understand our inner world and reclaim a sense of peace and purpose.

Understanding Our Inner Struggle

The idea of “two wolves” isn’t just a poetic metaphor; it speaks to something real and deeply human. Every day, we carry competing emotions, urges, and thoughts. Sometimes they’re loud and obvious, like the pull between compassion and anger in an argument. Other times, they’re quiet undercurrents, like lingering resentment beneath a smile, or doubt whispering over hope.

This inner conflict doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us. It means we’re alive.
We are wired with emotional complexity, shaped by our experiences, our environment, and our survival instincts. Fear can protect us, but it can also hold us back. Anger might signal injustice, but left unchecked, it can consume us. On the other side, love, gratitude, and patience often require conscious effort, especially when we’re tired, hurt, or overwhelmed.

Our internal landscape is dynamic. One moment we might feel grounded and clear, and the next, tangled in self-judgment or insecurity. These aren’t signs of weakness. They’re signs that our emotional needs are speaking up, asking for attention.

To understand this inner struggle is to accept that both wolves will always be with us.
But the power lies in our awareness, in the small choices we make each day, what thoughts we dwell on, what words we speak to ourselves, how we treat others, and how we respond to discomfort.

What We Feed Grows Stronger

The old man’s answer—“The one you feed”—reminds us that we are not powerless in the face of our emotions. We may not control which feelings show up, but we do influence which ones we reinforce.

Every time we repeat a thought, react a certain way, or tell ourselves a familiar story about who we are, we’re feeding one of the wolves.

When we feed anger with rumination, it sharpens its teeth.
When we feed self-doubt with comparison, it grows more convincing.
But when we feed patience, it gets stronger.
When we choose to pause, breathe, reflect, or show kindness, especially in moments when it’s hard to, we’re choosing which part of ourselves to strengthen.

This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything is fine. It's about noticing the habits of the mind, what we rehearse, what we believe, and what we give our energy to. Over time, these choices become patterns, and those patterns shape how we feel, how we relate, and how we live.

Feeding the “good wolf” doesn’t mean the other disappears. It means we’re no longer giving it the power to lead.

Feeding the Right Wolf: Tools to Shift Your Inner Dialogue

So how do we actually “feed the right wolf”? It begins with noticing, slowing down just enough to see what’s going on inside us before we react. That pause creates space for choice, and in that space, we can begin to shift the story we tell ourselves.

Here are a few practical tools that can help:

Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps us observe our thoughts and emotions without judgment. It teaches us to simply notice: “I’m feeling anxious right now,” or “There’s that voice of self-doubt again.” This awareness helps us stop fueling emotions unconsciously and opens the door to more intentional responses.

Meditation

Even a few minutes a day can make a difference. Meditation trains the mind to return to the present moment, like feeding calm instead of chaos. You don’t have to “clear your mind” to do it right. Just returning to your breath, again and again, builds mental clarity and emotional resilience over time.

Journaling

Writing things down can be a powerful way to sort through the noise in our heads. Try prompts like:

• “What am I feeling right now?”
• “Which wolf did I feed today?”
• “What do I need more of, and what can I release?”

Journaling helps name the emotions we’re experiencing, recognize patterns, and reflect with compassion.

Reframing Negative Thoughts

Cognitive reframing means challenging automatic thoughts and replacing them with a more balanced perspective. For example:

• “I always mess things up” becomes → “I made a mistake, but I’m learning from it.”
• “No one cares about me” becomes → “I’m feeling lonely right now—maybe it’s time to reach out.”

You’re not ignoring the struggle; you’re giving yourself a healthier lens through which to see it.

Therapy and Support

You don’t have to do this alone. Group therapy can help unpack deeper emotional patterns, rewire thought habits, and build tools that align with your values. Finding connection in a group is a powerful tool to help us identify unhealthy patterns and give us the support to practice and strengthen healthy ones. 

The Inner Battle Never Ends—But We Can Choose Peace

The truth is, those inner voices, both helpful and harmful, will come and go throughout our lives. That doesn’t mean we’re broken. It means we’re human. Emotions rise, thoughts shift, and old patterns can resurface, even after years of healing.

But here’s the good news: we’re not at the mercy of these thoughts and feelings.
We can learn to recognize them, respond with care, and choose how much power we give them.

Peace doesn’t come from eliminating every difficult emotion.
It comes from practicing awareness, self-compassion, and the daily choice to nurture what brings us clarity, kindness, and strength.

Some days, that choice feels easy. Other days, it takes everything we’ve got. But each time we pause to ask ourselves, “Which part of me needs support right now?” or “What am I feeding?”, we’re building something. We’re growing trust in ourselves.

And if the struggle feels too heavy to hold alone, that’s not a failure. That’s an invitation to reach out—for support, for guidance, for healing. You are not alone in this.

Final Thoughts

If you find yourself caught between inner voices, between fear and hope, anger and understanding, know this: you're not broken, and you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Healing happens together. 

Group therapy can help you make sense of the noise, reconnect with your values, and begin feeding the parts of you that feel grounded, strong, and true. Whether you’re just beginning your journey or returning to it after a hard season, support is here. 

You have the power to choose what grows within you. Let’s take that step—together.